Dreaming....

Since I can remember, I've had a recurring dream in which I had just given birth or was about to give birth. The only problem was...I could never see my partner's face or the baby itself. I've been fortunate enough to have met my mystery "dream man" in the real world and I married him ya'll!!! LOL We've been together seven years and happily married for two years now. He is...(WARNING! WARNING! corny factor ahead!!)...my best friend, my better half, my partner-in-crime, my soul mate. Together we have loved, laughed, and lived as much as we can. We love to travel, stay active, eat delicious food, spend QT with family and friends, and set out to achieve all our dreams together. We achieved one of those dreams last year when we purchased our first home together.

Yet in the midst of all our happiness, there was still something missing. I didn't realize what that "something" was missing until about a year ago.  I was very busy at work (with special education children) one day and was surrounded by a beautiful group of very happy parents and their toddlers. One look at one of the families and cupid unexpectedly struck me right through the motherly section of my heart. I was so overwhelmed by the love between those parents and their children that I turned to my coworker and said, "I think I want a baby." She joked and said, "I'm sure your husband would love to work on that tonite." ;)  I was completely taken aback by my new found desire to be a mother. I called my husband on my way home from work and shared my spiritual experience with him. Being that loving and supportive husband that he is he said, "You want to have a baby. Sure, let's talk about it when you get home."

Now, don't get me wrong, we've had the "children" talk before. We both want at least 2 children (He's open to 3). We always knew we wanted to have a beautiful wedding and purchase a house before working on having children. So that night we asked ourselves, "Selves, we've done all of the above...what's holding us back now? The answer: nothing. So let's do it!!! ;)

And we've tried. I got off the pill this past February and have not gotten pregnant since then. I new something was wrong early on when I missed my period in April and May and spotted throughout the month of June. I went to see my ob/gyn & had blood work in June. I gave my ob/gyn the "WTH" face as she explained that my blood work showed elevated levels of testosterone. She recommended a transvaginal ultrasound to rule out PCOS. That ultrasound came back normal. My doctor recommended that we continue TTC but also gave me a referral to a fertility clinic in case nothing happened in the next six months.

Well, fast forward to August and I still hadn't gotten my period. I decided enough was enough. Something was wrong and I refused to sit around and wait and see if my period ever decided to show up. I NEEDED to know what was wrong. So I called the fertility clinic on September 1st. They scheduled us for an appointment on October 12th. Needless to say, the paranoid and curious parts of me could NOT wait for that day to come. In the meantime, we decided we would keep ourselves occupied. We would complete a 10k mud run with friends, I's focus on the beginning of the new school year at work and the hubby would be held hostage at work by a new client.